No, what was IN the slideshows freaked me out!! He said that we're burning too much fuel and trapping sunlight which means the earth is getting hot and the ice is melting and there was this cute polar bear trying to find some ice and it couldn't and if it gets too hot the seas might flood the coasts like New York and LA and a lot of other cities and it was a very cute polar bear, did I mention that?

Hang on — we live on the coast!

Yes, we do.

And MY BED IS ON THE GROUND FLOOR!

Does it float?

This is so unfair — I'm just a kid! A surprisingly handsome kid, sure. But I don't own a factory, or drive a car, or chop down rainforests. So why is it MY bed that's getting wet? Hmmm. I should say that a different way.

You like bananas, right? Mom said if you eat a banana, it was probably shipped thousands of miles to be here. Which used up a lot of fuel.

And?

And that sent a lot of carbon dioxide into the air. And that trapped the sunlight and...

...and the polars bears are roaming New York and Los Angeles looking for ice, I get it, I think. But what you're REALLY saying is if I eat bananas I have to live with wet carpets?

No, I'm saying we should DO something. Like what if we made a Web site? For kids like us? Soon we'll be in charge of things and everyone needs to know this stuff. It can be about us trying to live in a way that's better for the planet and animals and everything. About being green.

Okay. But if you start singing "Circle of Life," I'm going to put pillows over my ears.